I am so sorry to hear about that story. And sorry to hear about your daughter. With Jewish communities, things are very mixed. Often people are "by the book" or selectively by the book, and they don't get it. We almost need a new stream of Judaism focused on someone's teachings about specific values. What values would you want to see? What do you consider an ethical life, for example?

On my forum, one of my jokes is about the Jewish people even needing to take lessons from hyenas. (Despite their reputation, hyenas are highly intelligent social animals, similar to dolphins. And we know about specific hyenas from the animal behavior studies, Kim Wolhuter's filmmaking, and other places.) Now that's ironic. https://spottedhyenas.quora.com/Kim-Wolhuter-s-film-Hyena-Queen-is-my-Jewish-transgressive-fantasy