Hi! My name in English is Waffles. I am a wild spotted hyena, former alpha of North Clan in the Masai Mara. Nowadays, I have passed the alpha position on to my granddaughter Soup and have retired to write. I am a relative of cats, running around rolling in things and playing in water and passing to many of you humans for a dog. Just want to ask if I’m close enough to “dog” to be a writer for this publication.

You might know me if you watch Wild Earth Safari, and I also have an account on Twitter at @matchtoresearch. Spotted hyenas are highly intelligent animals known for having the most complex societies of any carnivore. With my political experience, having risen from lowly origins to rule North Clan for a number of years, I enjoy bringing my own distinctive perspective to writing Middle Eastern and U.S. political commentary. Yes, I really was born in Kenya. And I will die in Kenya, probably eaten afterwards by my clan-mates as I have done for them. Meanwhile, I want to make the world a better place for my cubs. I am currently raising my two youngest, Amoretti and Butter.